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Shantanu S. Bhattacharyya 63 Hours
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It all happened just a few hours ago. I still remember the song they were playing at starbucks - 'maybe maybe' by nico stai. I remember looking at the girl on the other side of the cafe. As perfect perfection can be. Today I would have definitely told her. I rehearsed it the entire night you see. It couldn't go wrong. She was wearing a blue denim jacket or was it..... Ohh Damn. I am so sorry I got carried away with my thoughts :)
My story began some time ago, to be precise 63 hours ago... I could tell you the whole story but I am afraid Shantanu might come here anytime. So I am copy pasting the journal entries I maintained from those hours. This is what happened ..
Saturday, July 25
6:35 AM - I ran towards my lab. Bus would have taken me there faster, but I was too excited to wait for it. I fumbled with my keys and in second or 3rd attempt opened the doors to the 'Computational Biology' centre. Threw my bag on the floor and logged myself on to my workstation. Wow !! It worked. The simulation worked !!! Fantastic. It means I can publish this whole thing soon. Maybe I can graduate in a few months. Maybe I can .... Yaaayyyyyy
8:45 AM - I really like the advt for this honda civic. I think I will call up the owner tomorrow and negotiate a deal with him. Would that girl like the car ?? I think she will. She has to be the first girl who sits besides me in that honda.
4:01 PM - Damn!! How could I forget Mridul's birthday ? He never forgets mine. Should I call him now ? Maybe not. He is probably busy at work. Maybe tonight.
7:05 PM - OK, I am all set. I will walk up straight to her and say "Hi, I think we should move ahead from staring at each other and get a conversation flowing. Sounds good ?" Huh...lame :( Too direct and tacky. Ohh there she comes ....
11:10 PM - Mridul must have gone to sleep by now. Must call him tomorrow.
Sunday, July 26
7:23 AM - Got a call from parents. Argued for 10 minutes over my decision to settle down in US. We are having this discussion for the umpteenth time now. Why dont they understand that I have my own plans for my own life. Back to sleep.
11:01 AM - Breakfast in bed. Have resolved to finish writing my report on the simulation and send it to Prof. Smith by tonight. Just can't wait to see that smile on his face when he meets me tomorrow. He would be really proud :)
3:04 PM - Just can't focus on this report. I should go to the mall and get a present for Mridul. Its too late to wish him anyways. But not too late to say sorry alongwith a nice present. Plus I might just find something perfect to gift my dreamgirl when I meet her in the cafe tonight. Yes... time to go to the mall.
4:39 PM - Parents called again but I missed it. Should I call them again ? Its too late in the night there. Plus what new could I tell them ? Its OK. I will speak to them sometime later. They will never understand my situation anyways.
8:00 PM - Why is she still not here ? Am I early tonight ? Ohh there she is. Ahemm... time to go for the kill. Shall totally dazzle her with my charm. Here I come ... oops ... I hate cellphones. Who could have called her now ? Wait ... is she smiling ? Who is she talking to ? Damn !! What makes me think she is all lonely and single and waiting for her prince charming aka this poor grad student to sweep her off her feet ???? How can I be such a dodo !! Dont even look at her. Just dissappear.
10:30 PM - I have finally decided. I am a dud and thats it. I mean c'mon. She could be speaking to her long separated cousin or her room-mate or a friend who just happens to be in 'just friends' category. I should have atleast given it a shot tonight. The way her green eyes look at me, those dark eyelashes, that perfect face ... For all I care its worth trying even after a thousand rejections.
11:59 PM - Good. Sounds good. Maybe I should rehearse it one more time. When she looks at me I would say ....
Monday, July 27
8:04 AM - Not enough time to finish this report. I should have really worked on it yesterday. Its OK. I will finish it tonight and hand it to Prof. Smith tomorrow. That smile can wait a day :) Today I need to concentrate on her. This is the big day.
11:04 AM - Awesome !! The deal is finalised. I am going to be the proud owner of a wonderful Honda Civic. And when she says yes, I will drive around the entire town with her.
4:38 PM - I dont understand why Sam doesn't drive faster. I need to reach the car dealer by 5 :15 to get the keys. And then I gonna call my parents. Well.... No matter how much they hate my decisions, I am sure they are proud of me. And I will tell them how glad I am to have such wonderful folks. And then I gonna stop by the mall, buy a gift for Mridul and then I will zoom to the cafe where I gonna te
I could not finish writing. It all happened in a fraction of a second and yet my eyes captured the last moments of my life in the finest detail. Sam's loss of control over the steering, the impending trailer truck, the crash, Sam's heart wrenching cry and my last breath.
Now I don't have the intention or the time to bore you with the details of my after-life. Suffice to say that I am still around but I don't 'exist' anymore. I can look at the report I began writing but I cannot finish it anymore. I want to say sorry to Mridul for forgetting his birthday but I cannot reach him anymore.
I want to sit with my parents and talk to them for hours. Just like all those years back. I want to tell them how much I miss them, how much I love them, how much I want to be with them. But all I can do is to look at my mom trying to call my cellphone desperately and my dad trying to calm her down while getting unnerved himself each passing minute. I wish I could ease their anxiety, but of'course I can't.
I am not sure why, but I still went to the cafetaria. She came at about 7 PM, looking as beautiful as ever. Through the evening, she kept looking at her watch and looking towards that wooden chair at the corner. That was my favorite chair.I always sat there. After close to 3 hours and 6 cups of coffee, she left. And even though I never got a chance to ask her anything, I would like to believe I got a few answers.
Now I will never get a chance to finish all the things I could have and say all the things I should have. But I sincerely hope that my experience serves as a stern reminder to all of you that life, like all beautiful things, is delicate and fragile. Please don't take it for granted. Please don't leave things for another day. Please don't leave anything unsaid undone. Every chance that you get in life may well be the last chance you are ever going to get. So make the best use of it. Make the best use of your life, your existence.
I feel a lot better having said whatever I wanted to say. And ya when I said I would be eternally grateful to you for reading this, I meant the 'eternal' part quite literally :) Have a great life !!
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