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Shantanu S. Bhattacharyya Customer Care Having choices is important in life. We all want to have multiple options available for every facet of life. From pizza toppings to (err..) girlfriends :)
But too many choices are bound to complicate even the simplest decisions. 'Customer Care' is an invaluable tool for any enterprise but while they fulfill the role of appraising the customer of all the available choices, they cannot take away the customer's choice to ignore those choices alltogether. Sadly even if someone trained the girl at the counter or programmed the automated voice to allow the customer to over-ride all options, the first thing we would hear is
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Today was no different from the usual glum winter days in pittsburgh. At about 12:30 I finished analyzing some data and stepped out for lunch. The wind was pretty steady. So I thought instead of walking all the way to the Indian food trucks, lets grab a sandwich at 'Brunchway' - economical and healthy. It turns out about a dozen more people had the same flash of brilliance. So by the time I got to brunchway, there was a rather long que for my favorite $5 footlong. After about 20 minutes my turn came. Since I was pretty hungry by now, I asked the girl at the counter - one chicken breast footlong please, to go. I assumed this was all the info she needed. Huh !
Girl - Which bread would you like Sir ?
Me - Wheat bread.
Girl - Would you like it grilled ?
Me - Yes please
Girl - Which cheese would you like ?
Me - Anything would do..(Hell I am hungry !)
Girl - Swiss , american or provolone ? (monotonous and mechanical)
Me - American
Girl - Would you like it grilled ?
Me - Yes please (hurryyyy)
(after grilling for 3 mins)
Girl - What toppings would you like ?
Me - Just some onion
Girl - We have onion, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, vinegar .... (again the monotone )
Me - Just some onion and tomato ( give me the damn sandwichhh )
Girl - Which dressing would you like today ?
Me - (argghh) nothing
Girl - Are you sure ?
Me - (100% I gonna kill you) Yep
Girl - Your order is ready Sir
(Just as I am about to pay with my card)
Girl - Credit or debit ?
Me - Credit
Girl - Are you interested in the subway super saver card ?
Me - No thanks. Just the sandwich plzzzzzz
And I ran out ....
As I started enjoying my hard-interrogated sandwich, I decided to make a phone call to XYZ Airlines to purchase my flight tickets from California. Well I never got around doing it !
Computer Voice - Thank You for calling XYZ Airlines. Your call may be recorded or monitored for quality purposes. Please dial 1 for english or 2 for other languages.Pressed [1]. If you are calling about an existing reservation press 1, for new reservation press 2, for cardmember services press 3, to speak to a representative press 4, to repeat press 5. Pressed [2]. Are you XYZ card member ? Press 1 for yes, 2 for no. [2]. For one way ticket press 1, for round trip press 2, for multiple destinations round trip press 3. [2]. Please say your destination name
California
Sorry couldn't hear you
Cahleefohniaa
Thank you , please say your starting city
Pittsburgh
Thank you , now please spell out your name clearly
(damn !! this is gonna suck !) S .H. A. N. T. A. N. U
Did you say S. A. A. N. D. A. N. O ? for yes press 1 for no press 2 and spell again
Pressed [2]. S. H. A. N. T. A. N. U
Did you say X. H. A. N. D. A. N. U
for yes press 1 for no press 2 and spell again
{after 8 - 9 such trials}
Did you say S H A N T A N U
for yes press 1 for no press 2 and spell again
(yessssss !!) Pressed [1]
OK now please spell your last name clearly
With a surname Bhattacharyya, I of'course hung up the phone in favor of retaining sanity.
Do you want to hear all the options? Press 1 for full list, 2 for select list or 3 for none.
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